Month: September 2023

I am writing to you from a room that needs refreshing.  The paint color is not horrible, but some of it is gone.   I would get right to work if I had a bucket of good latex.  However, applying putty to fill many nail holes and climbing a ladder from a hospital bed is problematic.  When one is imprisoned and chained to hoses, wires, and whatever that thing is above me, forget doing anything.   Trust me, I tried escaping, but sirens blared, and police dressed in scrubs quickly cuffed me.  Darn.

Everything was just fine Saturday morning after a great night’s sleep.  My day was planned to the minute.  First, I would exercise with the girls in my garage gym, change bed lines, do laundry, and wash my hair.   I couldn’t wait till the evening when I was to meet old friends at a charity benefit.

However, I never returned to the house to accomplish a thing.  I, instead, made it to the back of an ambulance with a handsome young paramedic named Ian.

The last minutes of our exercise routines usually require mat work.  After doing a few without a problem, I suddenly became faint.  Couldn’t get my head together to save my life.  I would almost pass out whenever the girls tried to sit me up.   My friends and husband grabbed a blood pressure cuff to check the numbers. 

I don’t have high blood pressure, but for some strange unknown reason, it decided to blast to the moon for a visit with ET.  Trust me, rocket rides are not for the faint of heart… literally.

Life’s rude interruptions

So, Ian and his ambulance, a fire truck, and a few strange men and women found themselves at my gym.  Poor things lifted me onto a gurney, and I pray they have a stash of Ben Gay in their homes. 

Uh-Oh!  Now, folks were coming at me with needles, machines, dye, and other contraptions I cannot explain.   I learned quickly that a patient defying the norm requires many tests.  I now have sincere empathy for the mighty lab rat. 

Doctor after doctor asked the same questions; they seemed more bumfuzzled each time.  One brilliant one said it could be related to “old age.”  He is now in the room beside me, suffering from well-placed punches.   “Sorry ’bout that, Doctor Young’un.”

No, it doesn’t appear I will be “moving on up to the deluxe apartment in the sky” just yet, but who knows when our show will be canceled.  I understand now that most things we go through have a purpose. 

Life is full of watershed moments, and this could be one.  I have always been a strong caretaker, and the thought of needing aid was unthinkable.  Nope, it will never happen; I was invincible.  Why else would I keep lifting weights?

To tell me to slow down is perfectly ridiculous, but for a minute or two, the scrub police say I must.  Darn.

Yep, just a mortal

But, alas, I realize I am the same as everyone else.  We can fall, fail, fumble, or faint at any moment.  And when we do, we need help, even when we hate to ask. 

I know life does not last forever, but when there are wires, tubes, and peeling paint around you, it puts an exclamation point on it.  So, we must live it to the fullest while we are well enough to do so.  And never take the air we breathe or the people we love for granted. 

Appreciation and empathy are born from experiences and mainly from the bad ones.  I now have an intense desire to free a lab rat.

As I stare at the ceiling tiles, I hope at the end of my life journey, I find someone’s life was touched by my words, been forgiven by those I hurt, and tossed a dose of kindness into the air.  Most of all, I pray that God smiles when He greets me at the deluxe apartment in the sky.

So, this whole experience humbles me to remember that I am but a speck on earth, like everyone else who exists for a moment in time.  We must live, love, and learn till the end and make our hours count for the good of all.

“How do you know what is happening tomorrow?  For the length of our lives is as uncertain as the morning fog… now you see it; soon it is gone.” James 4:14

Recently, a bout of sleepless, restless, nightmare-filled nights accompanied me to bed.  I am not a huge worrier, but lately, fretting, anger, and anxiety have chosen to rest on my soul, especially when I desire to sleep!  Not fair!

Other than our personal journeys today, we are citizens of a country that appears all discombobulated.  Some folks seek calm, while others stoke fear.  Some work diligently to feed their families, while others steal for themselves.  While many preach law and order, some don’t trust the law.  A few believers in the Almighty hurl insults and threats, thus turning others away from faith.  And that, my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg in my sea of worry.

Am I losing faith in America?

“God, I need to rest, so help me escape the turbulence around me.  I know I will face its reality tomorrow, but I will accomplish more if you slay the demons ringing in my ears.”  I asked the Lord recently. 

 Sure enough, I slept well because He sent me to a place that gave me peace and assurance.  He transmitted me back in time to view how others survived sleepless nights and stormy days.

Tennessee 1810

The year was 1810, and Mary Polly was sweeping the floor of her small inn in the Tennessee mountains.  Her children made her laugh as she playfully shooed them with her apron when they ran around the dining tables.  She knew she would toss and turn with worry and grief later.  

Mary prayed each night, “Lord, please provide me the strength needed to survive these turbulent days.” 

It had been over a year since her husband, John, died unexpectedly, leaving her the inn and five small children to care for.  To laugh seemed like a guilty pleasure, an oddity, but she welcomed any joy.

It was a late summer afternoon when she saw a dusty covered wagon stop in front of the inn.  Two young gentlemen strolled in, looking for a home-cooked meal and a place to stay for a spell. 

 Like many others, they explained they were heading west to find good farmland and a new life.  Benjamin was the chatty older one of the two, and his bright smile and clear blue eyes radiated a gentle, discerning warmth.

After a few days, Mary was laughing more, and her nights were less restless.  Who was this Benjamin, and why was she suddenly excited to pour his coffee each morning?

Love conquers

Benjamin and his brother stayed on the mountain.  He and Mary  Polly wed two years later and began to live a life running the inn and farming the rich soil.  Their union delivered seven more children into the world, and each one added more laughter around the tables.

The family befriended President Andrew Jackson, who always stopped by the inn on his way to Nashville.  He thought Mary Polly prepared the finest eggs in the world, and he loved playing with all of Ben and Mary’s crazy young’uns. 

However, life was far from easy back then.  Wars, disease, crop failures, and uncertainty accompanied the family’s daily happiness. 

As the children grew, so did their restlessness.  Benjamin Walker’s family was always adventuresome, and Mary knew it.   Their oldest son left home to travel to the new Arkansas territory, and soon, wagon trains were journeying together, heading west.  By 1840, all their children were gone except for the youngest, named after their friend, Andrew Jackson.

Finally, approaching old age, Benjamin and his wife waved goodbye to Andrew and his growing brood.   The couple began the trek that Benjamin had started years before.  They reached the rest of the family in Arkansas, but within a short period, tragedy befell the couple.

Mary Polly died in 1857, and Benjamin followed her in 1859.  Both succumbed to disease and typhoid fever. 

The Point

Their frontier days were filled with angst, stress, fear, and sleepless nights that we do not fully understand today.   Yet, they boldly paved the way for us to follow.  Their lives inspired generations to believe America was the land of hope, faith, and courage.

Remembering the story of my heritage and those who bravely forged their way through the mountains and valleys to seek a better life, find love, and flourish encourages my confidence in all of us. 

So, the story’s point is if we go back in time and remember those fearless enough to build this land, we must be courageous and courteous enough to not tear it apart with our discombobulated, often ungrateful, hate-filled attitudes.   When we search our history, we understand that the love of country and each other will prevent us from drowning in a sea of worry.

God always pulls us away from the crashing waves if we ask him to calm the waters.